Continuing my newly founded blog post series. As I wrote it with Lorde followed by Lana del Rey singing in the background and occasionally checking Tumblr. Here it goes, the February edition of my A to Z!
You all know that in this day and age, everything is possible. That’s why for the past month, I have been setting the bar high and aim for the highest possible thing I can achieve in pretty much anything. The process may not be fast enough for my liking but, time works in mysterious ways (no U2 pun intended).
Of course, February 2nd marks a particular day in my life. I became legal this year, according to Indonesian law. Still a kid tho. Still a kid. Pretty much still a kid.
- C is for Chopped-off Hair
I cut my hair real short because I just feel like it but also, head over to letter ‘H’. I got my hairspiration from one of my friends online.
A sentence got stuck with me while I was on the road with my parents on a one fine day. We were in the car, talking about my future and all the likes. I expressed my concern regarding the matter and suddenly the sentence popped, “You’re allowed to dream as high as you can and make that happen.” Dad said that with a nod from mum. He’s got a point.
This month, for me seems to circle around the world of education. Not only because my brothers are gonna face the national examination which caused me to act as a proper sister by teaching them but, also because I need to start preparing for my own plans. Very nervewrecking.
I spend more and more time on it, somehow. Posted more there too. Chatted with one particular important person almost everyday when I can.
The city of Mainz. That’s all I’m gonna say for now.
I’ve been suffering from a severe hair loss. It has not stopped. I don’t know when will it stop or how. Am I stressing out?
- I is for Internal Motivation
Thank God, I actually gain motivation from my own self more easily now. It makes me do things with a purpose and a goal.
We still demand justice in this country which unfortunately has not been realized by officials responsible regarding the matter. So many problems yet somehow, they don’t seem to care about finishing and/or listening to the demands of the public who wanted justice to come sooner. Even if they are indeed trying to solve things, they’re doing it recklessly with poor diplomacy and planning. Shame.
From the Indonesian language literally translates to ‘hard work’. All of us, our family are currently working hard to achieve what we want to achieve. We are doing the best that we can do, perhaps until we reach our very last limit.
No, I’m not talking about the damn bullshit day. I just feel a lot of love centered around my environment while there’s also crisis in a more general context. But, well, love is still around.
I have been on the process of exploring my own abilities in order to decide my major in college. I have a very broad interest and I want to narrow it down a bit. I know what my choices are but, I am a very uncertain person sometimes and I want to make this very certain.
Although, my parents hates it when I slept too late. I can’t help but, to be more and more of a night owl lately. I spend my time a lot in the middle of the night to read, write and study. Hope they don’t mind.
The obligations I have being a student has been increasing. My priority as a student is of course studying but, life planning in my opinion, is also required.
I have been suffering from what seems like an eternal crisis. Phoneless. I tried to do more things to occupy my time (which is what I should do before too, btw). I became a bit more productive but, still I need a new phone to maximize my productivity as a human in a modern age lol.
- Q is for Queen Elizabeth II
February 6 2017 marks the Queen’s Sapphire Jubilee. She’s the first to ever reach one! As a soft monarchist (see definition), I feel very happy to live during this historic moment!
- R is for Realistic-Idealist
I live by the principal of being a realistic idealist and judging by my current life and things I might be dwelling in to for the past month towards the future, the words seems more and more relatable.
Well, what more can I do to improve besides this and also praying?
I became an active user again and there’s that.
THEY ARE TOURING AGAIN SOON AND I WILL PROBABLY STILL BE FREAKING THE FUCK OUT FOR MONTHS.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS. I CANNOT-
Very tired. Very excited. Very happy. Very disappointed. Very angry. Very determined. Very alive. Very dead. Very sad. Very still. Very hardly trying. Very demanding. Very patient. Very desperate. Very everything. Very very very very much.
What is happening? What is trending? Why am I not following. So much stuff mixed up at once. I can’t keep up and very scared???? Somehow??? Help.
- X ….. I have no words for X
But here is Xenon:
n. - A colorless odorless inert gaseous element occurring in the earth's atmosphere in trace amounts
Please just stop causing fights and arguments in this entire goddamn country. Stop causing such a catastrophic atmosphere in pretty much everything. There is no future here. I thought you knew better, I thought you could exercise your diplomatic specialty in such a proper manner. Well, you always show a good kind of image back in the old days. But, well, that was all for the public votes. I never chose you but, I once had hope. Now, even hoping seems kind of silly to even do. Don’t you realize that the majority of your people are displeased. I am not talking about the middle to high class society. You can’t determine the public mood by looking at them. You must look down. And down there, it is not very pleasing. Shameful. I wish things were a bit better. It is my country too after all. I have my fair share of nationalism but, all I feel is disappointment.
There are lots and lots of them here. They are all patterned with squares.