As you all can see, I decided to end the A to Z format of my life updates post because I just don’t have the discipline and commitment. HA.

Anyways, May… my oh my what happened in May? Bono’s birthday on the 10th. More German course for 3 times a week. Repetitive routine. Sleepless nights. Tired.

That’s what basically happens to be honest. I spend a handful lot of time pondering about life too. I’m a curious person, perhaps you can tell already. But, like, I was really deep into it. I thought about what life would be like in well, let’s just say, 5 years. I thought of how I would cope on actually living a life as a human. I thought of how even technically, I am grown, I am still very much a child and I still act like one. I thought of how I might not be prepared??? Like, why am I so pessimistic all of a sudden?

I just went through my days tired as heck. But, I pull it through. It’s weird if you think about it. I’m homeschooled, I shouldn’t be so tired. Instead, should be more relaxed. But, well, shit happens haha. I just listen to a lot of songs to ease my anxiety (i don’t suffer from anxiety disorder though, mind you) because I can be so caught up in my own thoughts, it’s a bit horrifying really. I listen to a lot of Enya because of course Enya will help. U2, as well because it’s obligatory. A bunch of 90s songs I use to listen to that get me feel nostalgic about my childhood. Also, I just hate it sometimes that when I tell my closest that I have anxious feelings and is a bit uneasy, nervous and all those stuff. They just laugh it off and think I’m overreacting while, in truth, I’m really not. I genuinely feel that way and I could use a bit of assurance, yanno. Won’t hurt anybody.

But, anyways, enough with the weepy sad stuff (lol). Let’s change the topic.

So, here is someone attractive for you:

This is Keanu Reeves. He is a pure cinnamon roll too good for this world too pure.

I had my Keanu Reeves phase on 6-7th grade I think and surprise, surprise! It made a comeback recently and nope, it has not gone away! I’m actually quite enjoying this because after all, what’s bad about Keanu? How could you all not love Keanu? We all love Keanu. Keanu is lovable. I even went as far as changing my Instagram bio to a metaphor of his name and my name (if people even bother to see, eh)

I question myself on a regular basis, don’t worry.

It’s even crazier cause then naturally, following the trend of a 21st century fangirl, I started writing a One Shot/Imagine collection on Wattpad. What can I say? I get inspired.

Also, on a more important stuff….

RAMADAN IS HERE!!!! It started on May 27th and it went off smoothly so far. As usual, Ramadan gave off such a different vibes towards everything. Life feels slightly calming, slightly intimate and just more beautiful in general. I always look forward for Ramadan every year. I guess, every other Muslim felt the same way? Ramadan is such a month full of blessings that when it ends, we were all felt a bit sad. We wonder if this is our last Ramadan, we wonder if we ever gonna experience Ramadan again. It’s just one of those things us, Muslims understand.

Of course, German course has been intense. But, like, not too intense. It’s just that I realise I am doing this for real. I kept praying for things to go smoothly. Cause if this Germany thing went just fine next year, it might be one of the highlights of my life! One of the things I would feel most happy about! It’s such a promising prospect and I couldn’t be more excited and motivated.

In short, May has been a mix. But, as I say in the title. It has been very very tiring. An enjoyable tiredness. I don’t even know if that term exist but, I guess that represents my feelings. At least, I will definitely know that the things I do now will absolutely be worth it in the future. However, whenever that may come around.

I guess, we shall see.



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