I know, I know.. I haven’t posted my March recap in the form of A to Z. But, to be fair, I have been quite busy. So, I’m here to post an entry or recap of what happened in March and why am I so busy in April, I can’t even manage to post on my own goddamn blog (which, let’s be real, no one read this anyway).
My March recap consists of my mum’s birthday which was on March 24th. She hasn’t aged too much, to be honest with you. That’s amazing. Then comes Depeche Mode. March really marks the month I totally devout myself to dive into their discography. My friend, Kelli helped me by sending their entire albums to my Google Drive. This is one of those times I feel really blessed to be in a time where technology allows us to do that. Imagine if I have to buy every single album on CD now!? Crazy. My current favourites as of now are People Are People and Walking in My Shoes.
I also met up with my friends from middle school and it was super awesome!!! We hung out, we talked, we discuss our future and reminisce a little about the past. It’s fascinating to grow up surrounded by your closest friends. They are changing yet not changing at the same time. It wasn’t the complete formation of our so called gang but, it makes me happy nevertheless. To see familiar faces who went through struggles in middle school together. Who knew us very well.
Not long after that, I met up with my all time favourite fangirling partner, Syifa Husna! We hung out and gossip like proper fangirls do. We share life updates and talk about our obsession in such a passionate way. We don’t even idolise the same people! She loves K-Pop, I’m all about U2. But, what I love is the fact that both of us just listened to each other and understood the feeling even though we are complete opposites! Friendships are weird sometimes. I love it.
Then, March also marked the lead up to my busy life with the German language. It was a bit of an anxiety, leading up to April. Because I didn’t know whether I would get through with this German thing (I will tell you a bit more about it later on in this post, stay tune). I kept asking myself and my parents about the possibility of the German thing really happening. Then, of course… we got the answer by the end of the month.
Some historic thing happened in March too. The official triggering of Article 50 for Brexit happened on the 29th. Needless to say, the world was shook af, mate. A lot of people still can’t believe that Brexit is really happening. Mostly Europeans but, I kinda feel that way too, to be honest, and I don’t even know why, ha.
Of course, came April. Everything seems very clear in April. I start my German language course. Why?
because I can very well do so, bitches. No, I mean, I may have a plan on going to Germany for college. Oh yep, my dream to get out of Asia seems like it’s gonna happen, yanno, no biggie. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Shut the hell up! Of course, it’s a big deal for me!
I still wanna make it a bit low-key though. I don’t wanna go all hyped up about it even though I am super excited. I have always dreamed of changing my life drastically, to go away and see places, to get out of this continent and move to somewhere really different. I use to dream of going to England (who doesn’t tbh?). But, for the last year I just feel like it’s unrealistic and being the ambitious and determined person I am, I just have to get what I want, so I searched for ways and I kept searching for alternatives. The point is: I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE. It’s not even in a bad way, I just hate to stay the same. I want to change and I want it drastic. I want it to happen in ways I never thought I would imagine. And yep, God seems to be on my side and hear what I wished so, here I am. Never thought of Germany, ended up on queue to go there.
If you think this is something that I feel comfortable to do, you are wrong. I do this because it is uncomfortable. Why are you doing these things? You ask. Simple. I laid out all my answers above. Because comfort is dangerous. In my own philosophy, if you get too comfortable, you won’t dare to try, get out and discover endless possibilities life has to offer. I am very ‘rich’ here. I am rich in terms of how I have everything here with me. I have my family, I have my friends, I have people I can easily call upon and I just can do everything without having to bother the consequences (well, not necessarily as much).
Out there, alone, I have nothing but, myself. That kind of adventure is something I have been searching. People here might say that I might regret my decision of wanting to go independent so soon but, they miss the point. It’s good for the long term. I think it’s better for me to experience bitterness so early on then just living my life with nothing but sweetness. Then got caught up in this very unrealistic expectations on what life should be and could not be prepared.
Maybe, I am being dramatic or whatever. But, I have set some standards on how to live my life. I don’t want to stay in one place all my life. I want to get out and explore. I have stayed here in Indonesia for more than a decade and I am so bored. I love being an Indonesian, don’t get me wrong. But, I feel really tired and really bored of life. For me, I need a drastic change. Sure, it’s for college. I might get stressed out along the way. But, at least I did something! I took a leap of faith and just get on with it!
All these sounds so promising. I still have the anxiety inside me about things going absolutely wrong. But, prayers, man do prayers work. It really works for me. I don’t care if people think it’s stupid to pray. The power of prayers is just astonishing in my eyes. I just hope things go smoothly and I can go out of here peacefully. Hopefully, make myself and the people around me happy.
So, that is what’s been going on in my life and it will continue to get even busier. Especially with German! I am happy even though the German language grammar is a bit of a pain in the ass but, hey I am still at the earliest level.
So much is waiting for me.